The Free Writing Experiment by Percy Weasley
by asuki-anani
Summary: A series of Drabbles...Percy tries to figure out life and sexuality. Two new drabbles and some corrections to the previous drabbles.
1. The Accidental Boyfriend

Disclaimer - this world I play in is not mine…and I play fast and loose with JKR's cannon….the last two books are especially ignored.

A series of drabbles some super short….some not as short…just a bit of mindless fun with Percy. Mostly . Who knows maybe they will somehow grow wildly out of control.. I honestly don't see that happening but ya' never know. Thanks to my pals online and in real life for helping come up with the titles for each chapter.

**Percy's Diary, **

**My Journal by Percy I. Weasley **

**My Free writing experiment….**

The few drabbles will be called….

The Accidental Boyfriend

A Fool's Fate

Exceptional Mediocrity

Maybe I _**am**_ Playing for the Wrong Team

So without further ado…

**The Accidental Boyfriend**

My youngest sibling caught me being kissed by Penelope Clearwater.

Ginny thinks it's terribly romantic. She believes I was quite desperately snogging with a fellow prefect in an abandoned classroom. She wants to know all the details of our relationship. I can't convince her of the truth. She says my hands were all over Penny.

And to be honest, my hands were all over Penny. I was trying to get her mouth off of my face.

This is quite a disaster.

I spent the last summer writing to her because we were both young and confused and trying to find out who we really are before having to start living true adult lives. It was great to have someone to commiserate with for once.

She thought I was trying to court her!

She told all her friends we are dating.

Yes we spend a lot of time together. We talk about everything under the sun and stars.

I admit to holding her hand.

I may have brushed her blonde bangs off her face a time or ten.

I gave her a small Christmas gift. But it was nothing deeply personal. Dad had given me a muggle day planner. I had found it quite useful especially when I enhanced it with a few charms. She said had been having trouble keeping study groups, prefect patrols, extra credit, homework, and life in general organized. It wasn't an especially romantic gift.

I wasn't looking for a girlfriend.

Honestly, this is the last year of our Hogwarts education it is no time for romantic involvement!

Fred and George think I am asexual.

Sometimes I think they are right.

There is a little cubby hole excellent for hiding…ahem…I mean studying behind a tapestry near the Ravenclaw open study area on the fifth floor.

While I was hiding Penny and her very best friend entered the room. I could hear them giggling and dragging some of the heavy cushions around the floor. They dropped the cushions in front of my tapestry. For a moment I thought I had been discovered and would be dragged out to join them.

Fortunately I had not been discovered. However I did learn some interesting information.

Penelope Clearwater thinks I am going to ask her to marry me the day we leave Hogwarts. Apparently I plan to make some sort of grand announcement of our engagement in front of our families when we arrive at platform 9 ¾.

I hate being made a spectacle of…why would I make a spectacle of myself?

I have to convince Penny to break up with me.

I don't want to get married yet.

I also don't want to break her heart.

I didn't even know that it was mine to break!

Why me.


	2. A Fool's Fate

**Percy's Diary, no that's too lame…**

**My Journal by Percy I. Weasley , entirely too pretentious….**

**The Free writing experiment….**

Disclaimer - this world I play in is not mine…and I play fast and loose with JKR's cannon….the last three books are not especially adhered to as this is an AU.

A series of drabbles some super short….some not as short…just a bit of mindless fun with Percy.

Thanks Everyone for the reviews on the first drabble.

**A Fool's Fate **

My father called me a fool once upon a time. Said I couldn't see the forest surrounding me because I wanted to be the tallest tree.

I have hurt my family. Trying to be something I knew in my heart I was not.

My family doesn't shame me.

Not really.

At least no more than anyone's family does.

My fate was to be the Ministry's fool.

Under two ministers no less. By the time Thicknesse came into power I knew things were not as they should be at the Ministry.

Perhaps I should have taken up muggle accounting.

Even he is still welcome to the family gatherings.

I am currently jobless. But not yet homeless.

I don't want to move back to the Burrow. What healthy young man wants to move back in with his parents after having left home?

No young person wants to live under their parents roof even if they left home with his family's full blessing and no parental/sibling drama.

My body and brain hurt.

I want to keep my little flat but to do so I need a job.

A job. J-O-B. Employment.

_The other day I literally ran into a one eyed muggle fighting a nest of vampires. _

Now that's a statement one does not make everyday. It also seems like a bit of a non-sequitor…but it's not.

From the mounds of ash surrounding us I realized the muggle man had been defending himself quite ably until I knocked him over. After that I did what I could to help.

After as he stated " making the vamps go poof."

He offered me a job.

The Watchers council. I remember a bit about them being taught in my Muggle studies class. The watchers and slayers were more than squibs but less than wizards.

The one eyed man said the pay was horrible and erratic, death seemed to await every turn, and things were currently quite disorganized. It sounds so very much like the Ministry the last few months.

He also offered me place to live and said no one could find me unless I wanted to be found. He also warned that I needed to be able to let go of any masculine chutzpah and thoughts of women being weak if I wanted to work for his organization.

I mean really I grew up with Molly Weasley as my mother. She killed one of the most notorious Death Eaters in history.

How bad could it really be at the Watcher's Council Headquaters?


	3. Dear Merlin

**Dear Merlin…**

I wrote a letter to the Prophet's Dear Merlin column a few days ago.

I am so confused.

I may no longer be asexual.

I checked out a wizards arse today.

Once again Ginny was the one to catch me. We were eating ice cream outside of Fortescue's just people watching whey my eyes decided to no longer listen to my brain.

Her eyes went wide and she could not stop giggling.

Then she said "He does have an exquisite arse Percy. He's also gay."

I just gave her a look and stated what I believed …believe to be true.

I am not gay.

I'm not!

She then informed me that denial is not just a river running through Bill's backyard.

And that now she knew why I so adamantly denied ever having dated Penelope Clearwater.

Penelope.

Penny. My accidental girlfriend.

I had not thought of her in years. I hated having to break her heart. But I could not allow her to continue thinking we would one day get married.

Marriage.

Yeech.

After lunching with Ginny and trying to talk her out of trying to talk me into being gay I was quite exhausted.

She had given me some homework to do….I told her I wouldn't do it. She then said I didn't have to tell her the results. Just to do it for myself.

I did.

Then I wrote a letter to Dear Merlin.

Ginny fire called me that same day…she said if I so desperately needed advice I should have just called her.

She would not believe that I had not written that letter.

She kept bring up Bill backyard river of Denial.

Sometimes I really hate my little sister.

I told her that her blasted homework had led to my confusion so why should I have sought her out for advice!!!

My homework?

Wander Diagon Alley, Muggle London, anywhere really and check people out.

Me.

Percy Weasley was supposed to check people out.

Evaluate their attractiveness.

Did the soft round curves of women draw me. Or the hard muscled men.

I found out that…_I am an arse man. _

I can't believe I just wrote that down.

I also can't believe that two of my co-workers caught me at it too. Really I should have not chosen to arse watch in the Muggle branch of Harrods…at least not with Dawn and Buffy in London.

As I wandered the Muggle branch of Harrods nice bottoms kept drawing my eyes.

Charlie and George like a nicely shaped tush so it's not abnormal for men to like a well rounded bottom.

I soon noted that while I noticed several exceptional arses…most of my favorite ones ended up attached to men.

Hence my letter to Dear Merlin.

And my sister advising me that Charlie is gay.

End drabble #3

Thanks for the reviews.


	4. Maybe I am Playing for the Wrong Team

**The Free writing experiment….**

Disclaimer - this world I play in is not mine…and I play fast and loose with JKR's cannon….the last two books are especially ignored. This is a series of drabbles some super short….some not as short…just a bit of mindless fun with Percy. If readers have any suggestions for titles let me know what they are in a review or via email.

Sorry that the drabbles stopped for a bit I have spent the two weeks and will spend the next two weeks working 16 hour shifts…so it may be a while before I am able to post again

Drabble #4

**Maybe I am Playing for the Wrong Team**

The one eyed muggle and my erstwhile boss set me up on a blind date.

He told me that if I played my cards halfway right this girl was a sure thing.

I don't know that I am looking for a sure thing. How do I know what a girl wants they are so girly. Xander insisted that while the women he set me up with as most definitely female shaped she was in no way girly. There is absolutely no way this date will go well.

The girl was nice…dark haired, slim, nicely proportioned, lovely arse and insanely strong.

She took me to three cemeteries for a bit of vampire taunting. (Vampire Taunting - a sport I have seen many slayers indulge in as a precursor to staking a vampire. This new job of mine has introduced me to many new things...including a physical fitness regime that I know will kill me eventually.)

After the vampire taunting I was allowed to take my date to dinner

We had a nice time. Got to know each other and found out we had not much in common.

One of the evening's highlights was catching each other checking out the waiter's arse.

I could feel myself blushing quite furiously…she merely licked her lips and had an almost frightening, feral, ferocious, gleam in her eyes. It was complete and total sexual desire.

She scared me.

But he was wonderful to look at.

Our date ended rather badly though. She tried to get him to go home with us for some "fun". But the waiter had other ideas.

He of the spectacular arse asked me out on a date and ignored her advances.

I didn't know what to do.

My date was most unimpressed. I don't believe she has ever been turned down. Honestly what male turns down a threesome. Even I couldn't have said no to that!

I don't think it helped that she was turned down for someone such as myself.

As my date and I were leaving I gave the man my floo address.

I think I am going on a gay date.


	5. One Gay Date at a Time

**Maybe I am Playing for the Wrong Team**

Well, I did it.

It was scary. I wasn't sure if it was really going to happen but it did. Ginny of course wanted all the details. I don't even know how she knew what I was doing but she found out and wanted to know everything that happened.

I ignored her and went to visit Charlie in Romania. I took Xander with my by side along apparition. He didn't believe me that dragons exist. The man works with Vampire Slayers, has helped bring down Gods and demi-gods, ancient evils, various demons and military personal and he did not believe in dragons or unicorns.

Xander was primarily responsible for my first gay date. He set me up with Faith and the waiter at the restaurant he told me about liked me more than Faith. He called me a few days later and after a few owls I decided to go on a date with Landry.

We had a lovely time. He waits tables as he is putting himself through muggle university. He's a half-blood and the restaurant has serves both muggle and wizards populations. He usually works the muggle side but said he was most happy to have worked the wizards side the night I took my date there.

It was very easy to speak with him and we have many similar interests. I haven't had such and easy time getting along with anyone since befriending Oliver at Hogwarts. And of course Xander is easy to get along with but I have no attraction to him.

When Faith and I returned to Headquarters the night of our not quite absolutely disastrous date Faith told Xander that he should have found a guy for me instead of her. She had no hard feelings about how our date turned out and she has really turned into quite a good friend.

That evening Xander and I got completely plastered. I confessed to him that I was thinking that I was gay and was at a loss on how to proceed. He then told me that he himself is bisexual. He explained that he and his friend Willow believe it's the person not the package they are wrapped in that should count. But that the wrapping does usually draw a persons attention at first.

And since our drunken bonding I've been in contact with my older brother Charlie. He told me that Ginny had it wrong he wasn't gay. He's just not picky. He too is bisexual.

He wanted to know how my first gay date went. So I agreed to visit him. I didn't tell him I was bringing Xander. Xander also does not know that I am essentially trying to set him up with my brother.

They are both strong men in character and morals and neither is afraid of things (dragons) or people (slayers) that are physically stronger than themselves. Xander told me I was cute but he preferred not exactly muscular men but men who you knew worked hard for a living. Charlie has muscles and works with dragons. Charlie likes men with dark tousled hair who aren't afraid to stand their ground. I think Xander and Charlie would be a lovely match.

Great Merlin.

I just read over everything I just wrote.

I'm setting up my brother with another man!

I went on a nice date with a man and plan to see him again.

Ginny may have been right….maybe I am playing for the wrong team.

**Howdy y'all. I know long time no write. Life and the Universe just got in the way. Hopefully I'll be able to add more to these drabbles soon. I think the next drabble will be One Gay Date at a time. Again please let me know if I need to correct anything I corrected the last four drabbles on this fic but this one has been spot checked. **


	6. Supposedly fun thing I'll never do again

-1

I know it's been a very long while once again since I've updated this fic.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story or added it to their author/story alerts.

As usual this is unbeta'd & I only read through it once so I know there are bound to be several mistakes.

**A supposedly fun thing I'll never do again. **

The tall red haired man looked up from the observation deck of the dragon sanctuary and watched as brother rode Norberta. The dragon was quite graceful for such a large creature. The two men strapped to her enjoyed the steep dives and rolls she made across the sky. Percy thought back to his first dragon ride; it happened the first time he had brought Xander to the sanctuary. It was a thrill, his heart felt as if it would jump out of his chest and his stomach was left behind several times. I still not sure that it was something I would ever do again.

Percy sighed.

Things I would never do again. Mmmm. Never again would I have a threesome with Faith and the waiter guy. It was downright dangerous. Thank Merlin the slayer and the waiter had been so flexible. Percy hadn't thought himself that flexible. Goodness one of our positions had almost broken my back. Or at least it had felt that way. And while I have never had so many orgasms in my life the experience had left me feeling a little empty.

I enjoyed spending time with both Faith and Owen but I couldn't say that I loved either of them. The experience though had earned him a solid friendship with Faith. I wasn't sure how but it made the dark slayer much friendlier towards me. I supposed it made up for the restaurant incident during their blind date. After the acrobatics had been shared and Ian had left Percy had a long talk with Faith. She had decided that I just wasn't the type of guy who did casual encounters with any sort of frequency. While I had thoroughly enjoyed myself I really wanted a connection with the person I slept with. Faith had called me a romantic, kissed me, and left my bed.

I later found out that she had spoken to Xander and told him to stop trying to set me up with what he thought would be a sure thing. That wasn't what I was looking for or much less needed. She tried to convince me to ask out one of the watchers for dinner. Wesley. But I didn't. I couldn't get past the Wesley/Weasley thing.

Ginny has of course been pestering me ever since she found out I had played matchmaker with Charlie. She said she had never seen him look so happy with anyone as she has seen him with Xander. She then asked me why I didn't keep Xander for myself. He is a rather good looking man, solid, dependable, delectable arse.

He's just not my type. Not that I really know what my type is.

So far in the last month I have dated three women and four men. One witch, one wizard, two squibs, and the rest were Muggles. Amazingly all the dates were great. As far as first dates go. But I was not particularly attracted to one more than the other. And, I couldn't say that I feel like I'll be missing something if I never see any of them ever again.

Ginny said I was being too picky. I don't think I am. I look at Xander and Charlie and while their relationship is still very new there is something about them that screams out permanence. They are so comfortable with each other. They understand each other intuitively.

They come from completely different worlds. I don't mean Wizarding and Muggle.

Xander was an only child and had parents that hardly cared for him. He does have an incredibly tight group of friends. His friend Willow is beyond sister or friend. He calls her his hetero soul mate.

Charlie is a Weasley. Weasley is almost synonymous with family. The second oldest of seven children. And if it wasn't for quidditch and dragons Charlie would be as much if not more of a longer than I ever was.

But despite all their differences, as corny as it may seem, they complete each other. Just like Mum and Dad.

I told Ginny that was what I wanted.

And as I stand here watching Xander, who is pressed tightly to Charlie's back his arms wrapped around Charlie's waist while riding a dragon off into the sunset, I am so envious.


End file.
